My dreams are coming true and I'm scared SH*TLESS! (Read time: 3 min.)

This week has felt tough.  Not hard work, blood, sweat and tears tough but mentally challenging, limiting beliefs driven, fear in your face emotional battling.  I'm in the midst of major changes where I'm starting to see that my dreams (those long sought after things I've said I've wanted for years) are finally starting to come true... and I'm scared shitless.

When I created those dreams, I was excited at the hope of them.  When I held onto those dreams, I was passionate about the promise of them.  Now that the dreams are actually starting to realize, I'm scared at the thought of both having and possibly losing them.  And here's what I've had to say to myself to move through it: Think challenges, not problems... and you LOVE to thrive through challenges.  

The way you look at a situation decides how you move through a situation.

And here's what I wanted to blog about.  People will tell you about dreams fulfilled.  They'll preach to you about what it took to achieve them.  They'll motivate you with what they had to do to stay the course but who talks about the sheer fright, resistance, and pain that comes when it suddenly dawns on you what you've struggled so long and hard for is finally coming true and it's now up to you to make good on it?  Who's going to talk to you about the fact that having a dream realized also means that you've hit the point of no return, the point where you can no longer be who you used to be and you're heading into a territory of being someone you've never physically met before?  It's like going on a blind date... with your best self. 

And as I embark upon this next journey of stepping into a new level of personal power, I feel three things:
1) The tug of who I used to be
2) The deceiving comfort of who I currently am
3) The thrill and fright of who I'm slowly but surely becoming

And it doesn't feel like joy every single day of the week.  Today it feels like being almost pregnant- think EPT, two lines but one line isn't really there -and I've decided to take that feeling and transform it into joy.  Why?  Because the alternative is not very fun and won't go a long way in making me feel any better.

What's my point in all this?  Scared shitless is not a sign to stop; it's a symbol of you moving forward.  Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Is Your Dream Compelling Enough to...? (Read Time: 3 min.)

Is your dream compelling enough to:

... stop eating out at restaurants for 3 years so you can become debt free?
... stop eating dairy, sugar, gluten, and wheat so you can lose weight and have more energy?
... go to a therapist so you can improve your relationship communication?
... put together a resume and cover letter so you can stop working at a soul killing job?

Is your dream compelling enough 

to do what you HAVE to do 

so you can do what you WANT to do?

When people talk about dreams, they often talk about their wishes, fantasies, and visions of how life will be "when" but how many people talk at length about how excited they are to give up, sacrifice, endure, or go through whatever it is they have to go through to achieve their dreams?  Even when you talk to people who've reached massive levels of success, they spend far more time talking about the glorious aftermath of the dream than about all the land mines, obstacles, and bumps in the road on their way to achieving it.  Achieving your dream requires that you be compelled enough to stay consistent in the turbulent parts of your dream journey.

Right now, I'm on Day 2 of Body Ecology and the caffeine/sugar withdrawal has kicked into MASS EFFECT.  I'm lethargic, tired, and not able to do ALL the things I'd planned to do today.  In the midst of all of this, there's a part of me that says, "You've got way too much to do.  You NEED your coffee!  Grab some sugar and get that burst of energy that will get things done!" and then there's the other part of me that says, "Don't sell yourself short.  Don't exchange short term energy for long term vitality."  Guess which side is winning?

I'm still on Body Ecology because I have a super compelling vision.  I see myself wearing those size small Victoria PINK sweats, t-shirt, and hoodie, rocking a fabulous HM sweater dress, and giving my next talk in a sharp size 8 Victoria's Secret suit (pencil skirt and heels).  I see myself living in a space of vitality, energy, and enthusiasm ALL the time, waking up energized, going to bed peaceful, and feeling no 3 pm slump.  I see myself feeling great in my body, wearing my favorite pair of jeans, and NEVER again wearing black sweatpants and a sweatshirt because I'm not in the mood to dress.

My vision is compelling so I'm going through pain right now and I'm tempted, in every moment, to drop the ball but NOT dropping the ball means way more to me, in this moment, than running to Starbucks, downing some chocolate chip cookies and paying later with the extra weight, the extra guilt and the lack of self esteem.  Yes, I'm not getting what I want to get done today but I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be doing what I'm supposed to be doing. 

And here's the point:

Everything in life boils down to choice.  

Whenever you say 'Yes' to something, you say 'No' to something else.  

Whenever you say 'No' to something, you say 'Yes' to something else.

Can you have your cake and eat it too?  Sure but not without a stomach ache. 

You CAN have both but you have to understand that decisions will require choice and choice will involve timing.

So I come back to the bottom line: if consistency is your issue, if focus is your problem, how compelling is your vision?  Dreams come true when you have a vision that pulls you, not when you have a goal that you push.  Is your dream journey a downhill slide or an uphill climb?  When in doubt, go with what moves you and keep the feeling of that passion ever in front of you.  It makes the painful parts easier to persist through.

Facing My Shadow... (Read Time: 3 min.)

The past week of Body Ecology has been interesting and eye-opening.  I hit Day 21 of Body Ecology and got struck with excruciating tooth pain, tooth pain so bad that 4 Motrin didn't even cause a dent in the pain.  I waited an entire week before going to the dentist only to find out that I needed a root canal.  The night before having the root canal, I couldn't eat anything hard (no veggies or protein) and, honestly, I was so sick and pissed off about all the time I'd lost for exercising and eating well due to the tooth pain, that I through a HUGE pity party and ate sugar cookies (did I mentioned I baked them?) and pancakes for dinner. 

That crashed Body Ecology.  It's been about a week of being off of Body Ecology and I feel crappy: bloated, tired, insatiably hungry and pissed off that the week before I got off Body Ecology I hadn't lost one pound.  I lost 6 pounds week 1 and 4 pounds week 2 and week 3 NADA.

So here comes the spiritual lesson: I have to find a way to enjoy the process instead of focusing so intently on the event (the weight loss).

It's Easter, I've had pizza, jelly beans, chocolate and sugar and I've made one commitment to myself: To begin Body Ecology again tomorrow with the goal of completing 120 days (not 21 days) of straight Body Ecology before taking a few days off.  I think a few days off in between periods of Body Ecology may always be part of what I do but I want to know what it feels like to have 120 days of Body Ecology healing under my belt... weight loss or no weight loss.