From Good Girl to Great Woman (Read Time: 2 min.)

I've spent alot of my life trying to be a "good girl."  It's taken me 33 years to come to grips with a simple truth:

Being the good girl sucks. 

What is "good" anyway? 

I once had someone say to me, "Kass, you're really not that nice" and you know what?  She was right.  At 33, I've reached the point where I'm sick and tired of putting other people's needs, concerns, and desires before my own.  I'm tired of working hard to go above and beyond the call of duty so I can receive that pat on the book or hear those words of approval.  I now see that I've spent over 30 years of my life doing that because I wasn't getting the approval from the one person I needed to get it from most: ME. 

And so now I'm stepping up to the plate.  I love me more than anyone else.  I care for me better than anyone can.  I put my needs center stage and I don't apologize for it nor do I explain my motives.  I'm happy to say yes or no but as far as explaining to you (in great detail) why I feel the way that I do, you can take that where?  BACK THERE!

Because here's the truth: Far too many women spend their entire lives trying to be "good girls" and they miss the purpose of their own destiny which is to become a GREAT WOMAN.

Someone who's trying to perpetually be a "good girl" has no room to receive her great womanhood.  Why?  Because you can't be accommodating and fearless at the same time.  There's no room to grow if your goal is to fit into somebody else's box.  Your life has no room to expand into greatness if what you do, on a daily basis, is play small so someone else can feel big.  No, it doesn't work and the truth is, I had enough time being a little girl, living under the roles and rules of someone else's definition of "good."  My "good" is what I decide and the path that I'm on has very little to do with acceptance and a hell of a lot to do with adventure. 

My transition from good girl to great woman may have taken a litle longer than I would've liked but I am so grateful that I am now here... and NOT going back.

Why Play the Role When You Can Write the Story? (Read Time: 3 min.)

I went in for an audition yesterday.  It felt like ages and, as I sat down, surrounded by walls of headshots and overeager, overprepared actors, I felt really out of place.  I no longer wanted that acting gig the way the other actors in the room wanted it.  I wasn't deep into my "preparation", going over lines and doing breathing techniques.  No, I was filling out some tax forms and playing on Twitter and Facebook on my Blackberry as I waited for my time to audition.

When I got in the room, I felt out of place.  I was standing in a room as two people listened to me cold read, as they inspected me from head to toe and, all the while, I was thinking to myself, "This is not what I want to do."

I left the place not at all concerned about whether or not I landed the part (and I didn't) but I was particularly amused by the fact that I had absolutely no investment in getting the part.  Isn't some aspect of manifestation the desire to have what it is you intend to manifest?  Yes... and no.

So I started to do some introspection: Why does acting no longer call to me?  Why wasn't I hungry to land roles the way I was three or four years ago?  Now that I finally have an agent, why am I not invested? 

And here's why:  Why should I play the role when I can write the whole story?

It's not enough for me to play somebody else's role, to fit into someone else's concept of who I "should" be or who I "can" play.  That's not how I roll.  I'm a writer.  I was born a writer.  I'm a writer who, at some point, wanted center stage and thought the easiest, fastest way to do that would be to play the star.  Truth be told, the leading actor or actress isn't the star but the script always is. 

So I'm coming to the place where I realize that I was born a writer and I'm always going to be a writer.  I don't like the limelight as much as I thought I did.  I like the power of my words and the way they come out of people who inhabit my characters.  That, to me, is power. 

And, when I think about it, so many people live their lives fighting to take on a role that's so much smaller than who they've been put on this earth to be.  So I say to those people:

Why play the "role" when you can write the whole story?

We are the writers of our lives, the creators of every single experience we encounter.  It's not enough for any one of us to be who somebody else thinks we should be or to live life in a "role" that we were cast in at an early age.  Parents don't do their children any favors by labeling them "the smart one" or "the cute one" or "the black sheep" but we do ourselves even fewer favors by holding onto and playing those roles to no end.

You are not a supporting character in the story of your life.  You are not the lead.  You're MORE than that.  You're the writer, producer, director and every other orchestrating part of the story of your life and you know what?  Why should you play the role when your job is to write the story? 

Forget about who you think you "should" be and go about the business of writing who you are choosing to be.  Let the adventure unfold one word at a time, one description at a time, one moment at a time and then see what happens next.  By far, it will be much more adventurous and amazing than anything you could've ever fit yourself into.  Do it!