Going all the way... (Read Time: 2 min.)

Last week, someone on Twitter posted about setting up their speaking schedule for 2012 and I thought to myself, "I want to do that!"  And then I thought to myself, "What's stopping me?" 

Me...

That one tweet spurred in me a desire to do something that I love to do but that I've refrained for doing for ridiculous reasons.  Part of my perfectionist tendencies involves me feeling like everything has to be "right" in order for me to step out.  But if I get real with myself, I understand that "right" is another word for "procrastinate."  The time will never be right until I make it right.

So, having said all of that, I need to get a 2012 speaking plan in order.  Where do I start?  Hmmm, a goal?  No.  A dream? Done.  A plan? Maybe. 

Where I'm starting is one small, powerful step and that step is decide the first place I'd like to speak and make one phone call this week. 

Let's go!

Where do you live: power or control? (Read Time: 3 min.)

I have no idea what this post is going to be about.  The last few weeks of my life have been eye opening.  Spiritual lessons I thought I got... I didn't.  People I thought had my back... didn't.  Situations I thought had settled down... haven't.  It's amazing how much change happens when change isn't the thing you want happening.

So what does it all mean? 

There's the pessimist part of me that wants to declare, "Life sucks!" and there's the Pollyanna part of me that wants to chuckle and say "I can hardly wait to see the good that's going to come out of this!" and the rest of me is simply sitting back going, "Here we go again..."

I'm learning that life is about fluctuation and change.  There is no external constant but change.  And this is where one of my biggest spiritual lessons comes in.  I'm a control freak.  I love control.  It makes me feel safe.  But the older I get, the more I realize that control is one of the most unsafe things to possess.  Why?  Because it's an illusion and, at some point, the bubble's going to burst.

Either I trust the process of life or I don't and if I do, then I've got to be willing to put my iron fist down, let it all hang out and just live... and that's the point that I'm getting to.  I'm not sure whoever paired power and control together but they screwed the whole thing up. 

Power is being able to exist in a world you can't control and still feel safe.  Power is being able to wake up with joy even when you know the day holds painful experiences.  Power is being able to let other people be who they are and not wish they were someone different.  Power is the ability to choose peace even when it would be so much easier to choose whining, complaining chaos.  Power is knowing that no matter what in the world changes, I don't have to.  Power is being able to stand in my integrity even when doing so costs me what I wasn't willing to spend.  Power is about being honest when a day is shitty, honest when you're so pissed you can't see straight, and honest when it's time to do something different.

I've spent the first thirty three years on my life counting on control and it's been quite a let down.  I'm finally read to start standing in my power and owning the fact that I have no clue where this is going AND I'm willing to take the risk. 



The Crucial Role Critical People Play in Your Life (Read time: 3 min.)

Have any critical people in your life?

 There are those people in your life who, no matter what you do or say, find fault with what you've done or said.  Far too often, those people are closer to us than we'd like.  Whether it's a parent, sibling, spouse, partner, or co-worker, when an outer critic is prevalent in your life, you feel it in your spirit. 

And the question is:

What do you do about it?

Here's the thing: those critical people are crucial components of your life's spiritual agenda. They are some of your greatest teachers.  Although there might be pain with their presence, there's also one important thing you're gaining with every experience: power. 

Learning that your opinion of you is more important than another person's opinion of you is one of the most important lessons that come with having a critic in your life.  Those people weren't put in your life to approve of you... and you weren't put in their lives to fight for and gain their approval.  No, the goal of this holy encounter is one thing and one thing only:

To learn that you don't need anybody else's approval

to be who you are. 

In fact, the reason that person doesn't approve of you (and probably will never approve of you) is because they weren't sent here to be your pep coach.  They were placed in your path to teach you that you don't need one.

At the end of the day, when and how you set clear boundaries with critical people is up to you.  But, in doing so, don't think that shutting people out is the answer to the question of life being asked.  When you're presented with close friends or family who constantly criticize you, it's time to stop, step back and ask yourself two questions:

1) Whose approval do I really need?
2) How can I learn to only need the approval I give to myself?

Those are the two powerful questions that help you see critical people in a new way.  When you do, you also realize that you don't have to denounce, disown or destroy someone who criticizes you.  All you have to do is denounce, disown and destroy the power you've given them to determine how much you're allowed to grow.  In that moment, you become so large and so powerful that what they say falls on deaf ears.

Why?

Because you've learned the lesson they've come to teach you:

No one else's opinion of you is as crucial as the opinions you have about yourself... and only you control that.

The Body Ecology Experiment (Read Time: 3 min.)

Hot cocoa and gluten/wheat free chocolate chip cookies... what could be better? 

I've spent the last twelve days working through The Body Ecology Diet.  It's an interesting philosophy- shift your inner ecosystem, change your life.  I totally get it.  And, quite frankly, it works.  I have more energy and I feel like I do have a cleaner digestive system. 

The Body Ecology way of eating, however, is way too strict for my life.  I like the idea of waking up, drinking a green drink, having some warm water with lemon juice, and guzzling down 64 ounces of water before having some blueberries an hour later.  That passes a great deal of the morning so meal one typically happens around 9 am.  What I don't like is the utter restriction of it all, feeling like I can only eat certain things, not feeling free to have some hot cocoa and cookies when I'm PMSing or feeling too scared to have tator tots when I've cooked a big Sunday breakfast.

All in all, the lesson I've learned from this Body Ecology experiment is this: what works for one doesn't work for all.  Donna Gates says that clearly in the Body Ecology Diet book.  At the same time, how do you not feel like a failure when you fall off the bandwagon?

Here's how: commit to eating your way and own it. 

So here's my way of eating: 70% Body Ecology, 30% fun food.  That might be hot cocoa and cookies after a salmon/veggie/quinoa dinner or it might mean tator tots with egg whites and baby carrots on a Sunday morning or it might even mean (Heaven forbid) a slice of chocolate cake on New Year's Eve.  Either way, I'm giving myself permission to eat with my whole life (not just my whole body) in mind and, already, I feel like a winner:)